Sizes Don't Matter Anymore

Do you have a body goal?  A picture on your fridge of the body you'd like to have?  Maybe it's a model or an actress.   Maybe it's even a picture of yourself from a different time in your life.  I've got one.  Before I had kids I was a teeny tiny size 2.  Almost nine years later and I can still think back to that time before I had stretch marks and other things I'm not happy with. 

Over those nine years I tried several diets and workout plans to reach that magical size 2 again. First it was yoga with a low fat diet, then pilates with a no carb diet, then running with a vegan slant and every other incarnation of all of those.  I'd lose a pound or two but ended up being so hard on myself that I'd quit.  I was so restrictive with my food that a simple cheat snack would send me into a downward spiral all over again.  I had low self esteem, low self worth and was miserable a fair amount of the time.  Not only was I NOT any closer to a size 2 but I was slowly killing myself, inside and out.  I had zero energy to keep up with my boys, never mind trying to actually play with them.  Worst of all was the example I was setting for them.  I was tired, bitchy, impatient and angry.  Quite the social butterfly lol.

* Fast forward through 4 months of Crossfit *

Now my goals aren't shaped by sizes or pictures of what society says is beautiful.  To be honest, I don't even care what the stupid scale says anymore.  Now I shoot for goals like unassisted pull-ups, improving my mile speed, and RXing my lifts. 

While working towards these and other goals the weight started falling off and I've discovered a totally new me.  I've got strong, defined arms and shoulders that I've never had before.  My more athletic legs might not ever fit into a size 2 now and I am completely okay with that.  Happy about it actually. With every WOD I'm pressing on towards the strong body I was meant to have... and... with every WOD that scale means less and less!

The following quote is from Lindsay Smith of Crossfit Central in Austin, Texas.   Lindsey took 5th place in the 2009 Crossfit games, 12th in the 2010 games, and is currently preparing for a run at the 2011 games.  She is a mother, wife, athlete, teacher and coach.  She says this so well...

"Strength is more than physical prowess to me, it encompasses a strong mind, body, and spirit.  Strong women do not only themselves appear strong, but constantly strive to help others in their life become stronger. The phrase “strong is beautiful” is empowering.  It encourages women to embrace challenge, thrive when given opportunity, and stand on what they believe to be good, healthy, and right."

WOD 6.29.11 - First one at a real box! Crossfit Texas

12min AMRAP
10 KTE
8 Snatch Balance

Results
3 rounds.  Bleh!  Those knees-to-elbows just about killed me.  This was my first time with them so I suppose you gotta start somewhere.  This is definitely something I have to work on.  My ab muscles are still split from my last pregnancy (diastasis recti) so I think that's partly why they were tough. I felt better about the snatch balances.  A few times I went too far back or didn't get deep enough but I'm happy with that being my first real try with them too.

Ran 1.5mi

WOD 6.28.11 - Strength set plus some BIG news!

Warm up - .5mi run

Back Squat
2x5  45lbs
1x3  55lbs
1x2  65lbs
3x5  70lbs

Bench Press
2x5  45lbs
2x3  55lbs
3x5  65lbs

Dead Lift
2x5  45lbs
1x5  65lbs
1x3  95lbs
3x5  115lbs

1 mile run

Not much to say here, guess I'm just working my way up in strength.  My wrists, mostly the left one, are sore after all this lifting so I'm gonna try some tape and see if that helps.

and blah blah blah... now for the BIG news...

I get to start working out at the Crossfit Texas box tomorrow!!!  YAY!!!  I won't be the red headed stepchild anymore lol.  I'll be a full fledged member of a box and I'm SO very excited about that  :)  I'll be doing the 5:30AM class so that should be interesting.  Wonder if I should sub coffee in my water bottle...?

Til tomorrow peeps!

WOD 6.27.11 - I luv you Fran!

21-15-9

Thrusters (40lbs, but wish I had gone higher)
Pull ups (jumping)
for time

Results
7:28!!!!!!!

Wow!  Today was a great day!  I smashed a goal I made just last week AND did something above and beyond what I thought I could!

My last Fran was 30lb Thrusters and 70lbs on the pull-down machine.  Did it in 10:25.  My goal was to sub 8:00 with jumping pullups and more weight. I slapped that silly goal right upside the head!  YES!

I felt good afterwards this time.  Gassed for a bit but recovered fast.  So fast in fact that I started wondering what my max thruster would be. Got up to 70! Busted out 3reps at 70 then tried 75.  I had trouble cleaning the 75, my left wrist just didn't wanna cooperate.  When I got home I explained it all to Ryan and he deduced that I wasn't firing up with my elbows.  I totally agree.  I was trying to do it all with my wrists.  Nevertheless I put up 70 three times and I am so excited about that!

Guess it's time for more  goal setting :)

Let's say...

Thrusters at 50lbs
jumping pullups
sub 7:00.

Til we meet again Fran.

Silly meatheads. Barbells are for girls too.

Today was one of the few days I hit the gym without Ryan. He and I are crossfitting at a gym til we can get to our nearest box.  Usually I don't notice other people's reactions to us since I'm only concentrating on us and the WOD.  Being there by myself though is a different story. Ryan is my street cred for the free weights area.

Saturdays are apparently very popular days for the meatheads.  You know them, the dudes that wear the dental floss tank tops to show off their girly muscles.  I believe those came the closest to fashionable back when MC Hammer pants were cool.  I'm guessing circa 1988.  But I digress. Fortunately for me I don't like working out in front of a mirror because these guys were fighting each other for space.  I half expected a bikini clad girl to come give them a spray tan between sets.

I got some very perplexed looks when I started doing today's WOD with the Oly lifts.  I understand it's a little unexpected to see a 5'2 woman playing with barbells.  I totally get it.  I was doing my sumo high pulls and almost laughed out loud when a dude started doing them right behind me lol.  Bad form and everything haha!  It was awesome.

My message for today is: Move over meatheads, I'm gonna keep right up with you.  I might not have as much weight on my bar but you're still gonna have to wait until my set is over for the bench.  I have as much right to this equipment as you so BEAT IT!  And no I don't need a spot, dork.

WOD 6.25.11

7min AMRAP
7 SDLHP  (50lbs)
7 push press  (50lbs) 
7 squats

Tabata box jumps  (20")
Tabata ball slams  (12lbs)

Results
4 rounds
I was blindly shooting for 7 rounds but since I couldn't remember my last weights for this I grabbed a 50.  Hence the reason for this blog... to help me remember what weights to use lol.  I could've gone higher with the SDLHP but the PP felt about right.

WOD 6.24.11

Today's workout doesn't have a name so I feel compelled to give it one.  "Major Suck".  That's actually the second name I came up with.  The first one was much more fitting and satisfying to say that you "beat" it but since I have no idea who might be reading this I figured it wasn't quite appropriate.  Email me if you want the real name lol.

30 sec amrap Box Jumps - 20"
30 sec amrap KBS - 25lb
30 sec amrap Burpees
30 sec amrap Row for calories
Rest/walk 5 min. between rounds.
4 Rounds

Results
Box Jumps: 12, 12, 13, 10
KBS: 10, 12, 12, 11
Burpees: 7, 6, 6, 6 
Row: 7, 7, 7, 7

WOD 6.23.11 RAWR!!!

Ooh this was a toughie. Not so much the weight but the motions. There's a learning barrier for me when in comes to grasping coordinated moves.  What may take someone three tries to understand takes me about ten.  Today we worked on hang power snatch into an overhead squat.  Man, even typing all that out confuses me!  I believe I need to work on thinking less as I tend to over think and get all jumbled up.  I'm quite frustrated at myself today but that gives me something to work on for next time!

21-15-9
Snatch/OHS (20lbs)
Pullups (jumping)
11:54

21-15-9
Medicine Ball Clean/Squat Jump (10lb)
Ball-Slam
12:05

"Mommy"

A friend asked me to name one word that inspires me the most.  One word that draws me out of a comfy bed in the dark before the sun comes up.  One word that helps the pain melt away from the WOD the day before.  A word that could shake me in my soul and give me the grit to push one more rep when physically I have nothing left to give. This word should literally be heart, sweat and tears to me.  My answer was immediate.

"Mommy"

My kids say this to me constantly. Incessantly. Sometimes in a frantic crazy kind of way that makes me want to change my name to Rumpelstiltskin.  My husband also calls me Mommy in front of them.  This word inspires me because my family inspire me.  I want to be the best version of myself for them always.  I'm pretty impatient by nature but they inspire me to work on that.  I'm quick to doubt myself but I certainly don't want my kids catching that.  I want them to see a strong fit mommy who takes life by the reins and charges forward with zeal every day.  Eager for new discovery and adventure and open to teachable moments along the way.

When I'm stuck on form and can't seem to get it right, I think of my husband who has the patience of a saint.  When I get scared of pushing too hard I think of our two year old, Sam, who runs wildly through life without abandon.  That kid has absolutely NO fear... which in turns scares me a bit lol.  I'm very competitive by nature and that's where I understand our fiercely competitive eight year old son Trey.  Thinking of him gives me the push to fire out sprints at the end of my runs.

I want my kids to see me struggle through defeats and fails. I need to get back up and try again for them.  I want them to join me in my successes and learn how to empower others and themselves.  

I'm learning so much about myself through this journey!  Who knew a barbell could make a such a difference in a girl's life lol!

WOD 6.22.11

30 situps
20 squats
10 ball slams (12lbs)
10 box jumps for speed (14")
3 ROUNDS

Tabata row

2mi interval run changing speed every .25mi

Results
My lower back is still tight from yesterday's strength WOD. (DL's and overhead KB swings) Everything else feels great!

Goals.

1. RX all lifts by the end of 2011.  Not exactly sure how feasible this one is but I'm gonna either do it or break my back trying  =) I'm currently training 5 days a week so 6 more months at that pace is... a lot of opportunity to better myself and shoot for it!

2. Get my Fran under 8 minutes, with jumping pullups, by August 31st.  I did this WOD for the first time in April and got 10.49 with a pull-down machine since I had nowhere near a pullup.  I've done jumping ones with Murph since then so I'm thinking this goal is do-able.

3. DL 135 by the end of July.  Today was my first real DL test and I got 115 for a 3RM.  I did  complete one 135 but couldn't pull it back up.  Ryan thinks this goal is too easy and that I'll surely be at 155 by July 31st.  I like his goal better :)

4. Run an 8 minute mile.  For me this would be miraculous since I'm SO not a runner.  I'm at about 11 minutes now so I have no idea how long this goal might take.

Now my goals are written, and now I am accountable for them!

My Supporting Cast - Ryan and Trey

Before going any further I must tell you how I got started with Crossfit. My husband Ryan had done it in the past and really liked it a lot.  He used to describe the WOD's to me and I thought he was crazy.  Seriously insane.  Look up the workout called "Murph" and you'll understand what I was thinking. Fast forward a couple years to early 2011.  Our eight year old son decided he didn't want to play baseball anymore but we both knew he needed to do something active.  He took a free class at Crossfit Texas in Pflugerville and loved it.  Now he's going twice a week and making his own strength, agility and speed gains all under the guise of having fun!

Ryan has been training me at a regular gym until we can afford for me to go to the Crossfit Texas box as well.  That's a huge goal because I know the teamwork and camraderie there will inspire me to work even harder.  Ryan is incredibly patient with me, demonstrating lift after lift, and breaking each movement down into great detail so I can understand it.  He WOD's and sweats right along with me and I love every minute of it!

I also love having another thing to talk about with Trey and he thinks it's pretty cool too.  I'll never forget how he cheered me on through my first" Murph" in our garage!

Here we GO!

I've been doing Crossfit since the beginning of April so it's been almost three months.  The changes I've seen in my body have come fast and have been amazing.  I've dropped three sizes, lost ten pounds, and am still shrinking out of clothes faster than I can shop! 

More importantly though, Crossfit has quieted the voice inside me that always said "You can't".  You can't run a mile, you're not a runner.  You can't ever defend yourself, you're too weak.  You can't lift that weight, you can barely lift your toddler. You can't eat better, it's too time consuming.  I was my own worst enemy and it took Crossfit to show me that.

What has birthed in it's place is a spirit of success.  Of never backing down, complaining or quitting.  Of greater self-confidence and belief that my body is capable of change.  I'm a lot tougher mentally than I ever thought possible and my stubborn side has definitely become more fierce!  Don't ever tell me I can't run a mile now... because I'll run two just to spite ya!

I feel like I'm at the start of something big.  At the bottom of a new staircase if you will.  Looking upward not with dread and doubt, but with excitement and jittery thrill at the thought of where this journey will take me and my family.  I know this will include more and more days with a happy mommy who now has an outlet for stress, a vehicle for change, and a drive that won't quit!